Phil Drane - Lactose Intolerance Blues Lyrics
When you're down in t'dumps (in the mouth), don't feel at your best,Your 'go' has got up and goneIf your mojo's not worked, for a fortneet (fortnight) or more,Here's a clue as to what's going on.When you're blown up with gas, got the cramps or the runs,You feel woozy way down to your shoes,When you've got bad breath and nausea, it's simply becauseYou've got the Lactose Intolerance Blues.Now listenIt's not something cholic, it's just metabolic,Your lactase is painfully lowIt can't break down glucose or suck up your sucroseAnd your enzymes don't cut it no mo'It's a human botrytis, like gastro-enteritisDo parasites hold all the cluesIs campylobacter a critical factorOf the Lactose Intolerance Blues. Yeah.So take care and be wary, avoid milk and dairy,You'll no more be a pariahThose embarrassing slurps, inelegant burpsAnd your flatulence will simply expireYour friends will adore you, no longer ignore youThey'll all be thrilled with the news,No more dextrose averse, you've battled the curseAnd beat the Lactose Intolerance Blues.Leave out the dairyThe Lactose Intolerance Blues. Oh yeah.
